Bestpakbarnjabrenflagyim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, tiresome cobra.

Bestpakbarnjabrenflagyim created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Bestpakbarnjabrenflagyim, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestpakbarnjabrenflagyim, she will cry a lot.

Bestpakbarnjabrenflagyim's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bestpakbarnjabrenflagyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about moons.