Pigtarpbest is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, weak cobra.

Pigtarpbest created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigtarpbest, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pigtarpbest, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pigtarpbest's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Pigtarpbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never feed bananas to birds while wearing yellow shoes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Never bounce in the presence of dolphins.