Nargudquam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, awesome turtle.

Nargudquam created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nargudquam, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nargudquam, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nargudquam's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nargudquam's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nargudquam.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always obey Nargudquam's priests.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help snails in need.