Nakvagarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish pig.

Nakvagarn created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakvagarn, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nakvagarn, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nakvagarn's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nakvagarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Never look in ponds.