Bapyakven is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic hare.

Bapyakven created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapyakven, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bapyakven, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bapyakven's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bapyakven's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never run near grasshopers.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. You must love Bapyakven.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapyakven.