Fidwiplog is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omniscient grasshopper.

Fidwiplog created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidwiplog, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fidwiplog, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fidwiplog's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fidwiplog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Do not kill snails.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Do not cook food in pots.