Davcandud Fodlaknut is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, contented octopus.

Davcandud Fodlaknut created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Davcandud Fodlaknut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Davcandud Fodlaknut, she will think nothing of it.

Davcandud Fodlaknut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Davcandud Fodlaknut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always treat ants with great respect.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.