Catlamfomvonbondosston is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, effective salamander.

Catlamfomvonbondosston created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catlamfomvonbondosston, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Catlamfomvonbondosston, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Catlamfomvonbondosston's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Catlamfomvonbondosston's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Catlamfomvonbondosston.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Never hurt foxes.

4. Retreat if eight rats approach from the west.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.