Affembus Fliscimcip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest donkey.

Affembus Fliscimcip created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Affembus Fliscimcip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Affembus Fliscimcip, he will have a low opinion of you.

Affembus Fliscimcip's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Affembus Fliscimcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.