Farpoptarg is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless octopus.

Farpoptarg created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farpoptarg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Farpoptarg, she will turn you into a rock.

Farpoptarg's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Farpoptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Farpoptarg on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.