Figrullnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest penguin.

Figrullnurl created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Figrullnurl, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Figrullnurl, she will turn you into a mouse.

Figrullnurl's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Figrullnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never wear purple jumpers.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never sing in the presence of goats.