Cinsidlab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful snail.

Cinsidlab created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinsidlab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cinsidlab, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cinsidlab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Cinsidlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured swans.

2. Cinsidlab loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Do not wear green clothing.