Maphaksak is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish dog.

Maphaksak created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Maphaksak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Maphaksak, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Maphaksak's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Maphaksak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never sit near mites.

5. Maphaksak loves sheep, so they must be respected.