Larggebget Manjarnvad Hunpan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, charitable hippopotamus.

Larggebget Manjarnvad Hunpan created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larggebget Manjarnvad Hunpan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larggebget Manjarnvad Hunpan, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Larggebget Manjarnvad Hunpan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Larggebget Manjarnvad Hunpan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.