Funkopbon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous yak.

Funkopbon created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funkopbon, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Funkopbon, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Funkopbon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Funkopbon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must never eat nuts.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Funkopbon must be the most important thing in your life.