Bapfumapp is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sage frog.

Bapfumapp created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bapfumapp, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bapfumapp, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bapfumapp's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bapfumapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bapfumapp's name in vain.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Feed all hungry capybaras.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Never look at galaxies.