Bessflistag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident otter.

Bessflistag created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessflistag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bessflistag, he will manifest in front of you.

Bessflistag's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bessflistag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bessflistag's priests.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Run away from magenta sharks, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.