Tigflamont is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, two-faced shark.

Tigflamont created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigflamont, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigflamont, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tigflamont's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tigflamont's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to goats while wearing green rings.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Put Tigflamont first in all things.

5. Do not kill great tits.