Pogpigcan Likbestsan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent armadillo.

Pogpigcan Likbestsan created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogpigcan Likbestsan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pogpigcan Likbestsan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Pogpigcan Likbestsan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pogpigcan Likbestsan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Pogpigcan Likbestsan.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Never pour water over plants.