Sughabjiphan is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humane raven.

Sughabjiphan created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sughabjiphan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sughabjiphan, it will turn you into a rock.

Sughabjiphan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sughabjiphan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sughabjiphan's name in vain.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Sughabjiphan on top of all buildings.