Quafquimweg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart hippopotamus.

Quafquimweg created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Quafquimweg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quafquimweg, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Quafquimweg's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Quafquimweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill moths.

2. Quafquimweg loves geese, so they must be respected.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quafquimweg.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.