Wadmetvad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, conceited grasshopper.

Wadmetvad created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wadmetvad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wadmetvad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wadmetvad's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Wadmetvad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Do not eat garlic.