Quaflegdib is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, quiet gorilla.

Quaflegdib created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaflegdib, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quaflegdib, she will remove you from existence.

Quaflegdib's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Quaflegdib's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Quaflegdib on top of all buildings.

3. Never mention goats.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help ants.