Wodkonsat is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental swan.

Wodkonsat created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodkonsat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wodkonsat, it will destroy your home solar system.

Wodkonsat's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Wodkonsat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Wodkonsat.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never eat bark.