Wap is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental elephant.

Wap created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wap's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Wap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about cats.

4. Hide if five pigs approach from the north.

5. Pray towards the west.