Pagvagtigbeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring crocodile.

Pagvagtigbeg created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagvagtigbeg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pagvagtigbeg, he will turn you into a rat.

Pagvagtigbeg's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Pagvagtigbeg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pagvagtigbeg eight times a day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.