Kemyatbed is a god.

He takes the form of a large, merciless owl.

Kemyatbed created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Kemyatbed, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kemyatbed, he will manifest in front of you.

Kemyatbed's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kemyatbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat garlic.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Kemyatbed must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.