Tadhapnak is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, astonishing dugong.

Tadhapnak created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadhapnak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tadhapnak, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tadhapnak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tadhapnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Retreat if four tortoises approach from the south.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.