Nartbapbass is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating fly.

Nartbapbass created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbapbass, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nartbapbass, he will torture you forever.

Nartbapbass' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nartbapbass' Holy Commandments

1. Put Nartbapbass first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Nartbapbass.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help sick nematodes.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.