Arnquarthatcencat is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, moody aardvark.

Arnquarthatcencat created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Arnquarthatcencat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Arnquarthatcencat, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Arnquarthatcencat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Arnquarthatcencat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Arnquarthatcencat.

2. Always obey Arnquarthatcencat's priests.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.