Loprotgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, moody newt.

Loprotgeb created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loprotgeb, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Loprotgeb, he will refuse to believe in you.

Loprotgeb's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Loprotgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away from orange frogs, for they are unholy.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.