Ditmumbif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, omniscient bat.

Ditmumbif created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditmumbif, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ditmumbif, she will turn you into a rock.

Ditmumbif's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Ditmumbif's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Ditmumbif.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.