Dapmutbudvan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, almighty wolf.

Dapmutbudvan created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Dapmutbudvan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dapmutbudvan, she will turn you into a slug.

Dapmutbudvan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dapmutbudvan's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always wear violet.

5. You must never eat bananas.