Sigsigzed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered penguin.

Sigsigzed created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sigsigzed, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sigsigzed, she will torture you forever.

Sigsigzed's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sigsigzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Never paint your hands blue.

3. Sigsigzed loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never mention eagles.