Gonflabsand is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, egotistical mink.

Gonflabsand created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonflabsand, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gonflabsand, he will try to impress you with trees.

Gonflabsand's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gonflabsand's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look after injured ants.

3. Gonflabsand must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gonflabsand.

5. Do not cook food in pots.