Gepgunnat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain bat.

Gepgunnat created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepgunnat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gepgunnat, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gepgunnat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gepgunnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to aardvarks while wearing cyan boots.

2. Retreat if three birds approach from the north.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Never talk about gravity.