Dagsanjig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous camel.

Dagsanjig created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagsanjig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dagsanjig, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dagsanjig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dagsanjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dagsanjig.

3. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

4. Always help sick squirrels.

5. You must pray to Dagsanjig nine times a day.