Lakfidjig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, almighty walrus.

Lakfidjig created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakfidjig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lakfidjig, he will turn you into a duck.

Lakfidjig's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Lakfidjig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lakfidjig four times a day.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Never feed peanuts to ants while wearing fawn tights.