Bonkmistim is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, almighty dingo.

Bonkmistim created gold seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkmistim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonkmistim, it will curse you with boils.

Bonkmistim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bonkmistim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bonkmistim.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the west.

5. Do not covet oxen.