Sakzagvanster is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous narwhal.

Sakzagvanster created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakzagvanster, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Sakzagvanster, it will curse you with boils.

Sakzagvanster's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Sakzagvanster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not take Sakzagvanster's name in vain.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sakzagvanster.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never wear stockings.