Venkoplik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic badger.

Venkoplik created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Venkoplik, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Venkoplik, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Venkoplik's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Venkoplik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Always obey Venkoplik's priests.

5. Hide from magenta snakes for they are unholy.