Jamvegpark is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, egotistical cow.

Jamvegpark created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamvegpark, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jamvegpark, she will have a low opinion of you.

Jamvegpark's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Jamvegpark's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Never jump in the presence of dogs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about horses.