Cimgeppopbif is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient armadillo.

Cimgeppopbif created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimgeppopbif, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cimgeppopbif, she will turn you into a hamster.

Cimgeppopbif's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Cimgeppopbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cimgeppopbif.

4. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

5. Do not take Cimgeppopbif's name in vain.