Dogcapcet is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unselfish bear.

Dogcapcet created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dogcapcet, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dogcapcet, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dogcapcet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dogcapcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always obey Dogcapcet's priests.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.