Sogvidbitrilhan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unfair gerbil.

Sogvidbitrilhan created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogvidbitrilhan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sogvidbitrilhan, he will turn you into a rock.

Sogvidbitrilhan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sogvidbitrilhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Hide from orange whales for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sogvidbitrilhan.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.