Sugvontarcamnurtgartifhap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-knowing crab.

Sugvontarcamnurtgartifhap created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Sugvontarcamnurtgartifhap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sugvontarcamnurtgartifhap, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Sugvontarcamnurtgartifhap's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sugvontarcamnurtgartifhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the west.