Ruttfigfoncarmet Lagtiprut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, deceitful guinea pig.

Ruttfigfoncarmet Lagtiprut created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Ruttfigfoncarmet Lagtiprut, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttfigfoncarmet Lagtiprut, it will be mildly annoyed.

Ruttfigfoncarmet Lagtiprut's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Ruttfigfoncarmet Lagtiprut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Feed all hungry badgers.

4. Never run near eagles.

5. Never play with disobedient children.