Funzedgom is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, competent bird.

Funzedgom created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Funzedgom, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Funzedgom, she will be very unhappy.

Funzedgom's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Funzedgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Funzedgom on top of all buildings.