Nartmilfet is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, proud coyote.

Nartmilfet created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartmilfet, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nartmilfet, it will strike you with lightening.

Nartmilfet's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Nartmilfet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Nartmilfet on top of all buildings.

2. Always help sick hamsters.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must love Nartmilfet.