Gubsogmad Stikvolcipxin is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty scorpion.

Gubsogmad Stikvolcipxin created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Gubsogmad Stikvolcipxin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gubsogmad Stikvolcipxin, he will throw large rocks at you.

Gubsogmad Stikvolcipxin's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gubsogmad Stikvolcipxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never paint your legs indigo.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Run away if nine ducks approach from the north.

5. Hide if three grasshopers approach from the west.